That Time of the Month
by MistressMerr
Summary: My very first fic, so bear with me. What's the most terrifying thing in the world? How about a Goddess going through her monthly?
1. That Time of the Month

*WRITER'S NOTE* This is my first attempt at a fanfic so I hope you'll enjoy it and I am planning on writing more soon. Well, anyhoo, on with the "story". Oh, and PLEASE review. Send me big long e-mails about how you love me and worship the ground I walk on at leshiarox@hotmail.com. And send money. Lots of money. *starts drooling* Mmmmmm..... money. Where was I? Oh yeah! On with the show!!! Enjoy!!!  
  
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DISCLAIMER:I don't own the X-Men, never said I did, I ain't makin no money from this.  
  
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That Time of the Month  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Leshia Doucet  
  
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It was a sunny day at the Xavier Mansion. Actually, no it wasn't. It was raining. Because.... um..... Storm was PMSing and if you are afraid of one thing in this world, it should be a Goddess going through her monthly. Logan was up in his room, practicing his brooding when the rain began. He immediately leapt up from his lotus position on his bed and ran to his Garfield calendar. He was momentarily distracted:  
  
"Hehe.... Mondays."  
  
His eyes quickly scanned the calendar where he had marked all of the X-Women's periods with big red X's.  
  
"Now lesse.... Rogue, 2nd to 7th, Jean, 10th to 15th, 'Ro...... oh, shit."  
  
There it was, plain as day, right on schedule. The first big red X in a string of 5.  
  
"Where does the time go?" he asked himself. "It seems just yesterday she fried my Jeep because I accidentally ran over a squirrel. Sure wish she had let me get out of it first though." Ah, yes, his healing factor had been working overtime that day. Back to the matter at hand, however.  
  
"Ah, man, I gotta assemble the guys!!"  
  
And with that, he bolted out of his bedroom and down the hall.  
  
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That month, there had recently been a flu going around which Magneto had ended up contracting, meaning he was in no shape to go attempting to eliminate humanity for once, and many of the X-Men were taking advantage of this opportunity to sleep in, which they rarely got to do. Remy LeBeau was one of them. He had decided the night before to hibernate until at least noon. He was having a delightful dream involving Rogue, Jean, himself, and a vat of chocolate sauce when his reverie was rudely interrupted by a loud pounding on his bedroom door.  
  
"Dis better be good," he muttered as he dragged himself out of bed.  
  
Logan was at the door looking very frantic.  
  
"What's de problem?" Remy muttered, still half asleep.  
  
"Cajun, do you have any idea what day it is??" Logan panicked.  
  
The blank look he got in return was answer enough. But once Gambit's mind began to catch up, he realized that there was only one thing in the world that could get Wolverine so scared.  
  
"Oh, shit."  
  
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After a short while, Bishop, Wolverine, Gambit, Cyclops, Archangel, Beast, Colossus(I miss him and I'm the writer, so what I say, goes), and Nightcrawler were assembled in the men's wing hallway, preparing for the battle ahead. They split into several small groups, and proceeded with all the ruthlessness of a military maneuver.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.......  
  
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*WRITER'S NOTE* What next?? What's gonna happen to the guys?? What about the X-Women?? And most importantly, will Gambit get to finish his dream?? All this and more in my next installment. COMING SOON TO A COMPUTER SCREEN NEAR YOU.  
  
Please R/R. If you do, I will be eternally grateful. Either review here or e-mail me. This is my very first fic, so if you want them to get better, I need encouragement! It can be a quick "I liked it" or some long, angry e-mail about how bad it really was, I don't care! Just a response of any kind!! Well, bye for now!! 


	2. The Plan

*WRITER'S NOTE* Alright, here it is, the much-awaited second installment(if you call a couple days much awaited) of my award-winning story!! Well, it should have won an award. And of course, R/R please. We now return to our feature presentation.  
  
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DISCLAIMER:You know how this goes. Don't own the X-Men, not makin money, yaddayaddayadda.  
  
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That Time of the Month  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Leshia Doucet  
  
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8:45AM:Kitchen of the X-Mansion. Storm was looking for something to eat. She was having the WORST day. First, she had slept in until 6:30, which, by her standards, and in her particular "condition" was simply unacceptable. Then she had discovered that Jubilee had torn her pantyhose that she had lent her. Ororo hadn't worn them in three years, but that was not the point. Jubilee would pay for her carelessness. Yes, she would pay indeed.  
  
With that comforting thought, Storm wandered out of the kitchen to find other people to get mad at.  
  
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Meanwhile, in the men's wing of the mansion.......  
  
"Are you quite certain we are adequately prepared for the upcoming confrontation?"  
  
"Don't worry Hank, PMS drills were one of the first things we learned in the XSE."  
  
Bishop and Beast quietly made their way down the hallway towards the living room. Their job was to patrol the mansion and alert the others if they saw Storm. They arrived at their first destination and began to survey their surroundings. They immediately saw a shock of white hair over the edge of the couch!!  
  
Lucas made the secret motion to Hank that, in no uncertain terms, meant to "Zip it and get down!!"  
  
The head turned slightly. She had heard them!!  
  
"Oh dear, " muttered Beast.  
  
"Shit," replied Bishop.  
  
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"Go!" Logan whispered to Remy. The two men quickly made their way down the hallway leading down to Cerebro. They needed to use it to find where Storm was. Hopefully they found her before Bishop and Beast did. Due to the all of the hallways in the mansion, everyone passed there all the time and everyone's scent was everywhere, so Logan couldn't possibly track her like that!  
  
They arrived at the door. Wolverine went in, and Gambit remained outside in the hallway to stand guard.  
  
A minute went by. Then another. Wolverine was working as fast as he could but the seconds seemed to tick away far too slowly for Gambit.  
  
Just then, Remy's kinetic senses kicked into hyperdrive! Someone was coming!! Of, course, he had to make sure it was Storm before overreacting. It was definitely a woman. She carried herself lightly, yet firmly, with pride. That ruled out Rogue, who walked rather lankily. It also ruled out Jean and Emma, who were rather delicate in manner. The left it to be either Ororo or-  
  
There was no time. Whoever it was turned to face Gambit just as he began to bolt towards the door to warn Wolverine.  
  
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"Why did I decide to wait until next week to take Betsy to the Bahamas?" Warren asked with a sigh as he and Scott sat on the edge of the roof, one of Storm's favorite hangouts, waiting for her to show but hoping she wouldn't.  
  
"Because you're just too damn nice to leave the rest of us men suffer alone." Scott replied calmly.  
  
"Ah, yes. How could I forget?"  
  
They sat in silence for a few more minutes before they heard a small scraping noise from the ledge beneath their feet!! They immediately leapt out of the way and ran to the opposite end of the roof, waiting in terror and dread, hoping that it was not the resident Goddess about to pop in for a visit.  
  
They gasped as a head peeked it's way over the ledge.  
  
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"Peter, mein freund?" Nightcrawler asked in a weary voice.  
  
"Da, tovarisch?"replied the hulking Russian.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
Peter merely shrugged his shoulders. Their task was to wait in Colossus' bedroom until one of the three lookout teams found Storm. They would contact Peter and Kurt on their combadges and Kurt would teleport the two of them to wherever their help was needed. They would then distract Ororo leaving her original victims to send for backup.  
  
They had been sitting there for what seemed like forever, when all of a sudden, Colossus' combadge lit up with a man's frantic voice on the other end. They immediately sprang into action.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.......  
  
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*WRITER'S NOTE* Dun-dun-duuuuuuun!!!!!!!!! So, do ya like? Remember to R/R(I'm starting to sound like a broken record!) 


	3. Caught!!

*WRITER'S NOTE* Sorry to keep ya'll waiting for so long, it's been a hectic few weeks. Well, here's the thrilling third chapter! And remember, R/R. If you haven't reviewed the other chapters yet, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? CHRISTMAS?!?!?!?!  
  
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DISCLAIMER:As much as I would like to, I don't own the X-Men. And as much I would like to, I'm not making money from this.  
  
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That Time of the Month  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Leshia Doucet  
  
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They were spotted! Bishop and Beast tried to duck down low and get out into the hallway, but it was too late.  
  
"What in the hell are ya'll doin?!?"  
  
Hank and Bishop nearly collapsed from relief at hearing Rogue's syrupy Southern dialect.  
  
"Mind tellin' me what's goin on heah?"  
  
"Nothing, Rogue. Nothing at all," Bishop said, letting out a breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding. "Come on Hank, let's check out the left wing of the mansion."  
  
Beast and Bishop headed back down the hallway they had came from, attempting to act stealthy, and Rogue went back to eating popcorn and watching Thelma and Louise on WTN.  
  
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"Oh, shit."  
  
Remy bolted for the door.  
  
"LeBeau, I would ask what you were doing but then I remember, I don't care."  
  
Gambit almost tripped he was so relieved.  
  
"I love you too, Betsy."  
  
Wolverine came out in a rush just as Psylocke stalked off.  
  
"What's all the commotion out here??"  
  
"Don't worry. False alarm, mon ami."  
  
"Grrr.... don't DO that ta me.... I thought she was actually here... just about gave me a heart attack...."  
  
Gambit just laughed in spite of himself.  
  
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"KURT!! PETE!! GET YOUR ASSES UP HERE, NOW!!!" Scott practically screamed into combadge.  
  
Warren took one look at the white-haired goddess who had just made her appearance on the, spread his wings, and jumped off the roof, yelling "You're on your own!!!"  
  
Scott couldn't believe his luck. He had been the one to run into Storm, AND Archangel had just abandoned him. What else could go wrong?  
  
Just then, in a puff of purplish smoke, Nightcrawler and Colossus appeared in the air just above Ororo's head. And they fell....  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..........  
  
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*WRITER'S NOTE* Yeah, I know, seems like the chapters are getting shorter and shorter, doesn't it? Ah, well. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. R/R Please!!!!! 


	4. Aftermath

*WRITER'S NOTE* Sorry, about the long, looooong wait peoples I wrote this about a month after Chapter 3 (I know, I know), and then as soon as I'm gonna upload it, FF.net goes down!!! Grr!! That was, like, a month and a half ago!! Oh well, even though it is looong overdue, here's Chapter 4, comin atcha!!!  
  
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DISCLAIMER:I don't own the X-Men and I'm not making any money from this, so if you sued, it'd be pretty pointless.  
  
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That Time of the Month  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Leshia Doucet  
  
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Rogue didn't see it, so much as hear it. A sort of screaming mixed with a smoking, crackling sound. Then a shiny metallic......"something".....fell past the living room window to land with a loud thunk on the ground. Rogue flew straight through the window, she was in such a rush.  
  
There, lying on the ground, actually, I think "embedded in the ground" is a better way to describe it, was Colossus. He looked alive, but rather.......scorched. He let out a groan, at which point Rogue snapped out of her shock and helped him up. The smell of smoke was almost unbearable as she hoisted him to his feet.  
  
"Pete? Sugah, what happened?"  
  
"Yellow," was all could manage before collapsing in a heap again.  
  
"Don't worry, Petey, Ah'll get ya to the infirmary."  
  
Just then the resident goddess flew gracefully down to land beside the two.  
  
"Hello, Rogue. Pleasant day, is it not?"  
  
"Just peachy, sug."  
  
"Ah, I see you have found Colossus. He and Nightcrawler were being extremely reckless up on the roof. Someone could have gotten hurt. But do not worry, they got their just desserts." And with that, she flew away.  
  
"Why do Ah get the feeling the rest of the week ain't gonna be much bet-" Just then Rogue thought of something. A look of shock appeared on her face as she rocketed towards the roof.  
  
"KURT!!!!!!!!"  
  
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"You got dat t'ing up an' runnin' yet, mon ami?"  
  
"Hold yer horses, Gumbo, just a few more minutes."  
  
Logan was still tinkering with the main Cerebro computer and Gambit was just looking bored. Finally, the big screen flickered on and a 3D map of the mansion came up.  
  
"Bout time," Logan muttered. "Cerebro; locate X-Man Storm, authorization Logan 3961."  
  
"X-Man Storm is currently heading towards the kitchen," came the metallic voice of the computer.  
  
"T'ank God, dat's all de way on de ot'er side of de mansion."  
  
"We still gotta keep on our toes, Cajun."  
  
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"Well, Bishop, after our little close call with Rogue there, I believe I am in need of nourishment. Would you care to accompany me to the kitchen for a small snack?"  
  
"You read my mind, Hank. You read my mind....."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED................  
  
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*WRITER'S NOTE* OH NO!! NOT THE KITCHEN!! What have those two gotten themselves into this time? Find out in my next installment, coming soon!!!(I hope)  
  
And don't forget to R/R, please!!! Oh yeah, and I went back and edited the other chapters, cause I used a different layout for each chapter and it looked kind of messy. I also fixed up a few spelling mistakes. Does it look better? 


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